My mom

O.k. so most of you know that my mother was arrested at the end of April for 3 counts of delivery of a methamphetamine and one count of possession with the intent to deliver. So, what happened was that someone who she would get meth for got caught and for a lighter sentence they snitched out my mom. Then, when they arrested her, she had some meth on her. She gets a social security check for her lupus and when she was in jail she kept wanting me to give that to a bail bondsmen and then sign a waver that said if she didn't appear to her court dates, we would pay her bail. Well, we wouldn't do it. So a few weeks went by and I got all kinds of letters about how sick she was and that the nurse said she was a stroke waiting to happen. She also would call Eric's work and have a bail bondsmen talk to him. I went and visited her a couple of times and she said she understood. Her tone changed and she was a lot calmer. She was very accepting of the fact that she was going to prison and was starting to look at the bright side of things like maybe taking some classes while she was in there. But then she had her pre-trial about a month after getting arrested and she started calling and begging again. She said since she was going away for so long she needed to take care of some things. She needed to get her medical records, figure stuff out with her social security, get her things in storage and get her car out of impound. Her next pre-trial was in two weeks and she lead me to believe that she would be pleading guilty at that time and going to prison. So, I said I had to talk to who she would be staying with, she could not see her boyfriend anymore since he was also involved with it, and I had to talk to her everyday. So I get a call from a lady who seemed responsible and said how she wouldn't tolerate any drugs in her house. I got her phone number and address so I knew I could get a hold of my mom. I knew that I shouldn't do it but I was tired of feeling guilty and I thought it was only for two weeks so I did it. I knew as soon as I picked up my mom that I shouldn't have. She said how she wasn't sure she was going to stay with this lady and that she really didn't know her too well. But it was ok because she had another friend who she could stay with. I got mad and told her that wasn't part of the deal. She said that she would probably stay with this lady but she just wanted to let me know. So, I drop her off and tell her that if I go one day without hearing from her, I'll call in the bond and she'll go back to jail. Well, within 3 days I get a million phone calls from the lady she is staying with about how my mom is never there and that my mom is hanging around with Scott, her boyfriend. So I talk to my mom and she of course has an excuse about him seeing her walking in the rain and he gave her a ride somewhere. She also says that this lady is crazy and she is not going to stay with her. Instead she is going camping! Camping! She said she was going with another friend and her kids camping but that it's close by. I said I better hear from you everyday. She promises she will. Well, two days later no sign of my mom and just voice mail on the prepaid cellphone she bought. So, we call to see if we can call in the bond. We're told it will cost us $300 and we have to know where she is so a bounty hunter can get her. If I knew where she was, I would get her myself! At this point I'm so mad at myself and embarassed because of my decision. Everybody told me not to but I thought by bailing her out all the stress of it would go away. Plus, I thought, it's only a couple of weeks. I knew I would hear from her eventually so we decided to not call in the bond. When I did, she had some crazy story about how she got lost in the woods and then her cell phone died. The drugs have eaten her brain!! It's hard to even talk to her because she lives in her own reality and doesn't listen to anything. O.k. this is getting too long so I'll try to shorten it.
So, we go to pre-trial and nothing happens. They set a trial date. I ask my mom what is going on and she's clueless. She says that the prosecution must not have offered a plea bargain yet. Oh and she has another pre-trial for 3 weeks later. This starts the long list of pre-trials that I have been driving down there for. I feel like I have to go because if she doesn't show up, I have to pay 5 grand. Also, I'll have no way to know what is going on because she is never able to explain what happened. I feel like I've been played and that I am now trapped. If I get too mad at her and tell her that I want nothing to do with her, then I'm afraid she'll run and leave the state and we'll have to pay the money. My only leverage is the threat that if she runs away, she'll never have anything to do with us again. So eventually the prosecution does offer a deal but she doesn't like it because it involves prison time and she thinks she should just get rehab. Don't they all! Her plan is to wait them out and make them sweat because then they will have to reveal their snitch and they'll lessen the deal. I knew it wouldn't work out that way but she truly believed it would. Well, instead of going down, they went up and added enhancements to her counts. Turns out all the places she made these deals were within 1000 feet of a school bus stop which adds two years to each count. She's now looking at a minimum of 8 years. I almost laughed out loud! She was so mad at them. But it worked and she decided to take the plea. Thank God! So, we go last week (3rd time this month) expecting her to sign the plea and her lawyer informs us that the paperwork wasn't ready and we'll have to wait till next week. So, when he tells the judge this the prosecutor gets up and laughs and gives it to him and is like, "Oops, here it is." Since my mom needs time to look it all over and sign it they give her another week. We decide that she'll have to find her own way next week because it is more important for us to be at the sentencing because that is when she'll be taken into custody. She promises she can get there.
She met with her lawyer and signed it on Wed. However she finds out that she'll be taken into custody right then. So, I run around and get Friday off and have to tell my sister in law last minute that she needs another babysitter for Fri. morn. I get it all taken care of and even took Gabe so she could say goodbye. Since we have Gabe my brother and I decide we aren't going to stick around but say goodbye when court starts. We do and Eddie, Gabe and start the 3 hour drive home from the town that her court is in. I thought I would feel relieved and like a huge weight is gone. I do but I feel sorry for her too. She was scared and I kept picturing her in prison and knew she would be crying because she is so emotional.
Then I get a phone call today! That's right, it's not over! My older brother down in CA calls and says that he talked to someone and they say they saw mom and that she didn't go to prison. "What!" How is that possible. Well, when I told her on Wed. that it would be really tough for me to get there on Fri. she said she would call her lawyer and try to get another week. She never got a hold oh him though just his sec. so she told me she couldn't do it. I even asked her on the way Fri. if he wasn't going to try and get her another week and she assured me that no that there was no way he could do it. Well, I guess something happened because we finally got a hold of her boyfriend and he said that she got another weeks so she could get her medical records. Has she called me to tell me anything? No! I dont' even know how she got home. She lives an hour away! She could have told her lawyer to forget it and to just take her then but she didn't. I've called her cell and it just goes straight to voice mail. I'm in shock!
So, that's where I am at right now. There's more details but I'd be writing all night. I haven't wanted to tell anyone everything because I'm so embarassed. I got totally played and I can't believe I made such a bad decision. But now I'm just feeling tired and like I need my friends. God really spoke to me last Sunday in church and I know I can't hide away. Poor Eric has had to deal solely with all my frustration and guilt. He has been so amazing though. I knew that he didn't want me to do it but he never forbid me and has never even made me feel like " I told you so." There has been times where I said that I'm through with my mom and she's out of my life and he reminds me that she is still someone who can be saved and that she won't be crazy in heaven. I can't imagine that. She's been "saved" so many times I don't even know what to think of her. I'm sure next time she's caught she'll get "saved" again. Sorry this is so long. I'll write when I know what is up with her and I finally hear from her. I love you all and thanks for those who have called and not let me hide.